Monday, April 13, 2020

πŸ’Why I Think Giant Weddings Are StupidπŸ’


I wanna preface this by saying that I do not care how you spend your own money. If you wanna spend your money on 10,000 drawings of dicks, I don’t care. It really doesn’t affect me in any way, at all. Spend your money however you want to. This is my own personal opinion on weddings and I respect yours if it’s different. But you did click on this article so you’re gonna get what you came here for. You’ve been warned.

Giant weddings are stupid. Weddings shouldn’t be about how much money you spend or how fancy everything looks. A wedding is supposed to be about making a commitment to the person that you love and want to make a commitment to. Our culture as a whole overprioritizes spending money on frivolous dumb things. A wedding is one day. You’re paying the same amount as a house downpayment for Just. One. Day. I genuinely don’t see how anyone could possibly justify that. It's frankly irresponsible.

I know some people say things like “oh, I’ve dreamed about this day since I was little.”
So that’s your justification, huh? When I was a little girl I wanted to play professional volleyball but that doesn’t mean I get to suit up and play.

Wedding marketing has us brainwashed into thinking that a wedding is the ultimate entitlement but that doesn’t mean we have to buy into it. All the hype about weddings is just that. Hype. No matter how beautiful it is, it’s just one day. It’s not gonna be the best day of your life. The best day of your life doesn’t cost you thousands. Happiness, joy, love. All of those things that make the best day of your life, the best day of your life. Can only come from within, not from materialistic things.

They say take pictures of moments not things and it’s the same for spending money.

There’s this really great article that I like called “Why Millenials are Choosing Experiences over Things.” You can read it here, but I’ll sum it a bit. It states that “science has shown us that experiences elicit more happiness than buying material things.” Not a big shocker right? Or maybe it is, social media over values possessions quite a bit.

In the article Dr. Gilovich explains, "Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods. You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless, they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”

One could say that, “but Katie, a wedding is an experience”. And I agree that it’s an experience but it’s only a very small part of a lifetime of experiences that you’re gonna get with that person. The relationship itself is the experience and that’s what you should spend your money on. Have multiple, memorable experiences within your relationship, not just one day of it.

Honestly I don’t think people even need weddings. You don’t need a giant ass ring, or flowers, or a super expensive dress to love and commit to someone. If you’re theoretically gonna be together forever, you can get married whenever you want or not get married at all. Why involve the government in your relationship? You don’t need a piece of paper to illustrate your commitment to someone. It can all be symbolic of your commitment but you can certainly have that commitment without all of that. That’s what marriage really is anyway, you don’t need all these fancy bells and whistles attached. It’s an industry, they want your money.

Also who’s paying for this shit? People are litteraly going into debt to have a wedding they don’t need. I feel like there’s all this societal pressure for 20 to 30 year olds to hurry up and get married and too many people fall into this trap. You don’t need to get married in your 20s or your 30s or really get married at all if you don’t want to. That pressure is only real if you believe in it. You don’t have to buy into it.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you don’t need to have a giant wedding. You don’t need to get married in your 20s. You don’t need to have a baby right now and you don’t need to be married to be successful. Make your own choices and create your own life. It doesn’t have to be how society makes it seem like it should be. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can shut the fuck up. It’s your life and your happiness.

Personally I’ve found that most people don't even want a marriage, they just want a wedding. All this nonsense is just for show and I’m not buying it.

Don’t let other people’s dumb ass opinions influence how you live your life. No one has ever said on their deathbed, “Oh man I'm so happy that I went into all that debt for my giant wedding.” Relax. Take some pressure off. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Create a life that you’re proud of. Be different, who cares? The world would be a boring place without freaks anyway. Create a life that you’re happy to live in. That’s all that truly matters in the end.

Don’t ever let anyone try and tell you what to do with your life. “It’s always muthafuckas with no magic that try to tell you what to do with yours.”

πŸ’›Katie



If you made it this far I just wanna throw in that while I’m on the topic of marriage that I’ve heard so many times “UGHHH omggg I just hate it when people fall in love with the same gender because it affects my life so much!!! UGHHhhh.” Oh wait actually I haven’t heard anyone say that. Because it doesn’t affect anyones life. At all. People who are prejudice against other people can fuck off.

Okay now I’m actually done. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.


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8 comments

  1. I curious if spending 1,000s on a European trip fits your example bei g stupid with your money?

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  2. doesn't the act of trying to convince people to not spend their money on a wedding actually prove your opening statement to be false .. that you don't care how people spend their money. You do enough that you wrote about it and told people how they should live their life.... according to what you think is important?

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    1. You either didn't read the article or completely missed the point bud. Take some classes on reading comprehension πŸ’

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    2. First sentence is: I wanna preface this by saying that I do not care how you spend your own money. The rest of the blog is why you think people are stupid for spending money on a "perfect" wedding. It is a shallow argument that is reflective of your age, but that is fine. In the end your point is why bow to pressures of society on weddings... in otherwards don't spend your money on a wedding. Hence this blog is about spending money or not on weddings.

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    3. You almost had it, and then you missed it again πŸ˜‚Seems like someones mad they spent a whole bunch of money on a wedding when they didn't need to. Go take a nap and maybe you'll wake up a little less bitter

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    4. I generally agree with your OPINION Katie(Kinglue:"First sentence is: I wanna preface this by saying that I do not care how you spend your own money. The rest of the blog is"---hint hint---OPINION!!) on weddings as me and my ex(now, which unfortunately is how most relationships end up being) did not opt for a wedding at all even though financially we would have made out like bandits as traditionally it is the family(families) that pay for the wedding(my mom and dad and my brother's fiancee's mom paid for my brother's wedding)...But in my case, neither of us were religious and neither of us needed a government piece of paper(that you pay the state $$ for!) to validate our relationship which lasted 16 years and we had a daughter and family from...No, what we did is dedicate our lives to each other once we found out that she was pregnant with our daughter because at that time we had to decide whether we were going to keep the baby or not...We were living together as a couple anyway for a year and a half and both of us decided we were ready to do this and take that next step as being a Mom and Dad together and so I dedicated the rest of my life to her and my new family as we were bringing a real life human being that you are responsible for who cannot take care of itself that u were responsible for creating coming into the world...As for the lifetime commitment, well when she left me she said "oh I won't hold you to that"...So unfortunately, her lifetime commitment meant something other than what mine meant......But anyways, yeah Katie, I agree with ur general premise on weddings and how it relates to commitments...As for Kinglue here--I guess he or she got his or her panties in a bunch as he/she apparently never came across an OPINION before in his/her life and ass umes that everyone is telling her/him what to do when really He/She is just trying to tell people what to do and thinks his/her OPINION is the only one that should exist as evidenced by using insults to put your opinion down("It is a shallow argument that is reflective of your age")as if he/she knows better because they might be older--Ok d*ck, well I'm 47 and raised a daughter so...--And from my 47 years of experience I can tell you that just because ur older in age does not mean that ur wiser or have the capacity for or actually utilize critical thinking...Besides that, from my experience, if ur older and all you do is utilize defense mechanisms and insults in place of critical thinking and a rational argument, then ur more likely set in ur ignorant ways with little hope of escaping your circular logic bullsh*t...But anyways, getting back to the argument, in fact it's the exact opposite of shallow as it is actually ACTING on rational(logically reasoned) belief against the norms of society(that a marriage is what you must do to be in a serious relationship)as we got alot of flak from her parents(when we first started visiting her parents, they had us sleeping in separate bedrooms even though we were living together! They eventually came around when we pretty much told them we weren't going to visit if this was going to be the case) for this after they found out that she was pregnant(we held our ground based on what we believed and they did over time accept it and me as part of their family--for which I'm thankful and respect them for)...BESIDES that we were forgoing a financial windfall(most couples I know make thousands$$$ from a wedding from the gifts--my brother did and would have even if he paid for it)...So who's OPINION is shallow!!!....Well, there's SOME of my OPINION with some additional info from actually living it....Hope this info gave you or anyone else out there something that can help in any way because I know I don't NEED outside opinions to validate me or how I think but, from my experience, it can be rare to find a person who shares an unconventional outlook let alone acted on it and can share that experience with you...So I hope this helps...Take care...

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  3. I agree! Forme, I would go for a reception just because I want to celebrate the day with my friends and family. Although I have seen people spend thousands of dollars on a wedding. I don't have a timeline on when I would like to get married, it's more of finding my person and going from there. Great article!

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  4. I think this is a great way to consider breaking norms. There's a lot of media pressure of what a perfect wedding should look like, when all that really matters is the love you share with your partner. To me it sounds more fun and meaningful to spend a large chunk of money on a whole trip through Europe. That's our wedding. Sign our papers off then go celebrate at The Louvre :-)

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